Conviction

I am so glad its Shabbos! It has been such a crazy week with classes, errands and shuk expeditions that it is so nice to just prepare for Shabbos in a relaxed environment. I really feel that Shabbat is one of the healthiest things I do in my life. It’s a time I take to reflect on my self and my week, to make an effort to communicate more frequently and honestly with G-D.

I have to things I want to share from my day yesterday. First, in the afternoon I went to volunteer with 14 other girls at a food packing plant called Yad Eliezer (I have picks that’ll be posted on Sunday). Yad Eliezer is an organization that has several programs to help fight the poverty situation in Israel – there are over 1.6 million people who go to sleep hungry every night (in a country of 7.76 million people it’s a big deal)! We were put right to work setting up over 80 boxes on a conveyer. We filled each box with rice, beans, pasta, sugar, flour, oil, soap, canned vegetables and other necessities. According to the organization “ by supplying food to the home rather than feeding people in a soup kitchen, Yad Eliezer helps families to maintain a sense of normalcy, dignity and stability despite their economic constraints”. We worked really well as a group and filled over 130 boxes as well as built boxes for the next day. Before we left the man who helps run the warehouse asked if we would come back before Rosh Hashana. I’m sure their demand is especially high then and I would really love to go back.

In my first night class last night we had a teacher who is so excited about the material that you just cant help but be enthralled as well. I really learned such a valuable lesson from an hour with her and really feel that it is worth sharing with all of you. First, I should note that although the class was given over by her and had her own interpretation and thoughts, it is based initially based on the teachings of Rabbi Miller. In last week’s parsha (Shoftim) and this week’s parsha (Ki Tetzeh) it says that we should not be afraid of our enemies/battles (this includes personal battles) because Hashem is with us. It is further commented that saying Kriyat Shemah (the blessing that G-D is our G-D, and he is one), is the only thing that saves you from your battles. In other words, if you believe that GD is the only one then this conviction can overcome anything. But what does that mean? Can our convictions change reality? Your attitude can definitely change how reality feels. This is seen when Jacob was waiting for Rachel for 7 years but in his eyes, because he loved her, it felt like only a few days. The then, is that faith in GD does not change reality, it revels the reality that no matter how many enemies you are fighting, the number is insignificant to GD. So, by believing you allow reality to exist, you give potential for things to happen and you give power to this reality. On the flip side, lack of faith blinds you to what is real. It prevents you from being open to the potential you have to create in the world. This really resonates with me – knowing that although GD and not me is in control of the world, I have the power of my own conviction to reveal the reality that I so often am too caught up in superficiality to see. It’s empowering to know that we possess the ability to reveal the potential that Hashem has given the world.

Although I have more to share, I feel that it is important to end off with this something for us all to think about.

I’m off to bring in Shabbos with my friend Mur.

Shabbat Shalom to all of you and I hope that we are all able to believe with all of strength to reveal true reality.

Xoxo

Dana

Ps please pray for or keep in mind Adina bat Chana a 14 year old girl who was hit by a van this week in Jerusalem. Refuah Shelemah

A Loving Strawberry

A week ago today I was getting ready to leave for Israel with absolutely no clue what it would be like when I’d get here and what my future here would look like. One of those questions is not so ambiguous anymore, the other – still an unknown. As many of you know, after my first day at Neve I was already thinking about alternative options for the year. After reminding myself that so many of the greatest experiences of my life started off less than positively (i.e. Jewel), I did my best to start afresh in my mind and be ok with stepping out of my comfort zone. Some of you who know me well have already baffled by my comments cuz I’m always bouncing off the walls, making some ridiculous comments or coming home from a trip with a bunch of new friends. The truth is, that’s who I really am and who I feel more comfortable as it just takes me some time to get there sometimes. All of that is just say that everyday here I feel more at home and look forward to going to class and just walking around campus. I definitely feel a bit uneasy that I never know what the next day will bring but honestly its also an incredibly thrilling sensation.

The last two days have been pretty packed. Yesterday was one of the longest days of classes. After my 4 morning classes, lunch and an afternoon class that ended at 2:30 I met with Rabbi B. I’m not quite sure what his class is really about yet so I’ll keep you posted on that one. On Monday he had asked me to make a list things I would like to focus on improving in the month of Ellul: 3 things between me and myself, 3 between me and Hashem and 3 between me and another person. I have to say, meeting with him surpassed all of my expectations. I thought he would help me pick one thing out of the 9 and give me some words of Torah on how to actualize my goal. However, we spent an hour and a half discussing only the first thing on my list. He was genuinely interested in any issue that may have contributed to that item and took as much time as necessary and asked as many questions as he could to get the full picture. I had never had such a deep and open conversation with a Rabbi; also never had one who was so open and honest with me. In the end he asked me a question to ponder and send him by email, one so specific its confusing to me why it would be the one thing he’d pick up on. Anyways, so tonight I’ll have to get started on that.

I also met with Rabbi A, who suggested I think about switching into a new program at Neve that is more focused and gives girls who are here for a longer time the opportunity to establish close bonds with families and teachers. I feel that being in the general Neve program is best for me now but I’d like to think of it as an option for the January semester.

At 5 I went to the BEST Zumba class I’ve ever been to which was taught by my Panamanian (not Argentinian…woops) teacher, who has to be one of the funniest people I have ever seen “Laaadiiith, I don seeh you shakin dooos toosieees” (she’s saying this while doing the body role, wearing a long skirt and a tichel…love it!). Suffice is to say that I will be back in that gym on Friday morning for another workout J

Lucky us last night we had night classes from 7 to 9 which was absolutely awful! I literally had to walk out of a class because I kept falling asleep – my solution was to go sit on the stairs and fall asleep there instead: p

Earlier in the day there had been a sign posted in the hall about a girl named Tamara from Montreal who was getting married and only had her chatan’s family there. So, despite my exhaustion, 30 of us got all dressed up and took the bus to the Dan Panorama Hotel. You should have seen the scene we made! The ballroom at the hotel is really small so when 30 of us walked in during dinner we were the center of attention. It’s a really big mitzvah to dance at someone’s wedding and one I’d never tried so I figured this would be a great “out of comfort zone” things to do in my first few days here. Also, I felt some sort of obligation to her since she was from Montreal. Since I’d never showed up at the wedding of someone I had never met in my life, especially one this small, I had no idea how she would react. When she saw us walking down towards her, her face lit up as if all of her best friends just made the trip from Mtl. She thanked us profusely for coming and insisted we get drinks and sit down since they were having dinner. She introduced us to her Chatan’s family – a crowd that did not seem to be very similar to the couple themselves. The majority of people at the wedding were Chasidic – some wearing streimels and others had long gold coats with endless payot! I really didn’t know that it was possible but I think we really made her wedding, we dance with her for over 2 hours, lifted her on a chair, made a jump rope, gave her water and told her how happy we were to be there. We got down and danced with all the Chasidic ladies (who really know how to move!) and even got to indulge in the most amazing desserts! Last night was definitely one of the most humbling experiences of my life. I hope that they find everything and more in one another, live a life in Montreal with refuah, bitachon, simcha and parnasah (health, trust, happiness and livelihood).

Now, what would one of my posts be without me getting in an argument with an Israeli, getting injured, lost, and confused…? Today during our break I decided to tackle a whole bunch of errands. This included, trying and failing to get Internet, fixing my phone and most importantly, buying some groceries so I can eat a yummy breakfast. First of all, HOW IS ANYONE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF CHEESE TO BUY? 1%, 3%, 5%, 9%...what does it all mean?? I took a guess and grabbed a 5%...hopefully I wont be eating goopy cottage cheese in the morn.

After spending 10 minutes on the phone with my mom discussing the percentages on the cottage cheese, I had to find my last item – jam. One the things I have going for me here is that my Hebrew is pretty good. Although, once in a while I do forget words I should know, mix and match and use the wrong gender. Today was a good one! I decided (with some uneasiness) that the word for jam was chiba; strawberry jam = chibat tut. So, I went up to the man stalking shelves and asked him where I could find “Chiba, Chibat Tut”. He looked at me strangely and just nodded no. Tonight when I was waiting to use the internet (which is not working so I am currently sitting in a public park using someone’s internet…shhhhh) I asked an Israeli girl what chiba meant in Hebrew (I was sure it was wrong since I remembered that riba is the word for jam). She said it means “love” or “loving”. GREAT! That means I said something like the following to the religious man working at the grocery store “ Where can I find the love? The loving strawberry?” Dope.

Hebrew words of the day

Chiba - love

Riba - jam

Anyways, this was supposed to be a quick few words since I have the slight chance at getting to bed early tonight…guess not. Tomorrow I’m going to volunteer at the food charity I mentioned in my last post. I forgot my notebook again today so I’d like to make tomorrows post about the month of Ellul – the current Hebrew month – which is full of such deep meaning and important lessons before Rosh Hashanah.

I think the sign from my departure from this park has arrived with some sketch lad who keeps saying “chamuda, erev tov, good night…. goodnight (in Borat accent).”

Erev Tov to you all,

 xoxo

Dana

"Zeh Yaduah!"

Shalom Kulam!

So day two of classes and I am pleased to report that I have no bad things to say about them. I was lucky and got around 4 hours of sleep last night so that is progress from 3 J. If this jet lag business doesn’t quit it I don’t know what I’ll do – today we had an “orientation” with the principal of Neve (Rabbi Chalkowski) and I kept doing that head jerk thing where you dose off for a millisecond but catch yourself. It was so bad I had to leave in the middle (even though I was sitting directly across from him) and later found out that half of the girls watched my spasms and me! This morning I initiated my new coffee and know that it definitely had a part in my great start this morning.

The first day I had breakfast here it was pretty measly but I thought that was because it was Friday and maybe the kitchen people weren’t here since a lot of people don’t work. To my dismay breakfast is always mediocre….bad bad cereal…peanut butter, chocolate spread and bread. This is only half a complaint because although I wouldn’t make my dog (miss you Riley!) eat the cereal, I could be satisfied for life with chocolate spread and bread. However, I know my tummy would not be so appreciative nor my thighs so eventually I’ll have to go in search of alternatives.

This morning I decided to get my feet wet for real at Neve, just jumping right in – I signed up for a Zumba class (what do Neve girls wear to Zumba???) taught by the awesome Latin American teacher from last night and also put my name down to go volunteer at a food charity called Yad Eliezer on Thursday where we’ll be packaging food. Classes were very good today – Chumash (learning about Abraham taking his son to do the Akeda), Halacha (learning all there is to know about hand washing! Lol), more about Chana and finally an AWESOME class with Rabbi Bear. I think I may have found one of my top teachers so far. There were only 3 of us in Rabbi Bear’s class and he spent the time talking about teshuva (repentance) and how no matter what you’ve done in your life nothing ever gets in the way of your attempts to better yourself and atone for our various misdeeds. He was so excited that I was from Montreal and told me that b”h he wants to arrange a speaking tour with stops there. Currently I am patting myself on the back because I have set up my first meeting with a teacher…Ruchie I hope your smiling! (Although secretly it was his idea and not mine….but still progress nonetheless!)

More progress was made in the attempts to be less awkward department when I had 2 girls to sit down with at lunch without having to randomly plop myself with people I don’t end up speaking to (I know this sounds like high school and to be honest it kind of is. A little weird since I never thought I’d have to go through this again…). I am really lucky that I have great girls in my apartment and that there are a good bunch of friendly girls here as well (I gravitate towards the English girls since I can literally listen to them speak about sewing and I’d be perfectly happy). After falling asleep during the orientation I had to venture out the market area again.

Without failure, I can never leave Neve campus without having multiple mishaps. Please enjoy….

First, I headed to the central bus station to get a monthly bus pass only to find out that I was number 177 and they were at 6 AND number 137 had already been there for 1.5 hrs! Forget that – I left. Excited by the prospect of showering finally I went to Superpharm  to get shampoo, cond and body wash only to find out that all the deals from Sunday (the day before) were gone. But a girls gotta shower so I bought everything anyways.

Don’t be silly… I know what you were thinking, “that was successful, no big problems there” – WRONG! Fast forward 2 hours, I’m finally in the steaming shower about to condition my hair only to find out that I bought TWO shampoos…just my luck.

Back to my errrands – stop 3 was at the Shuk (market) where I wanted to return the iron and water bottle I bought the previous day. The water bottle had a huge crack in it (which I discovered as it began to leak all over the principal’s office floor!) and the iron was useless since the school has one for sale for ONE DOLLAR! The water bottle exchange went smoothly (sort of…obvi he had an attitude) but the iron return was a no go. I was told they don’t do return and when I pushed further and asked if I could call the company he said they would give me the same answer. Then I asked for his boss’ number and he said that was not an option, that even if I could return it I would not get my money back. I relayed my feelings that a store must have a sign that signifies its return policy but noooooo apparently “zeh yaduah” (“its known”). WELL NOOO DUDE I DONT KNOW!!! So a fight ensued about the fact that he should have a sign indicating the return policy followed with me leaving….with the iron L

Obviously flustered I decided that the best way to make myself feel better was to go to Marzipan – an Israeli bakery at the shuk that was crafted in heaven. Hundreds of rogelach and danishes, hot, chewy and simply delicious. Here are some photos of before and during my marzipan eating experience. For those of you whose tummy’s are now rumbling…. there are two extra beds in my room if you want to try some!

Rogelach & iron in hand with a knapsack full of hair products I made my way on to my second home…the bus (kav 75). Note: Shout out to Joelle Librowicz who I thank G-D on a daily basis is here with me in Israel. I don’t know how I would get through without my personal life coach and imah J

Back to the bus…as Joelle and I are discussing my future during the scenic route along the bottom/mid of Har Nof (the name of the mountain I live on), the BUS BREAKS DOWN leaving me on a random street with zero percent of my bearings in tact!!! One thing I knew for sure is that Neve is at the very top of the mountain. I figured I was just one street down (which is the equivalent of about 6 flights of stairs) so I headed towards the first flight of stairs and made my way up. Obviously I was wrong so I just kept finding stairs and kept walking up (in steamy weather, with my heavy load and Asthma plagued lungs). 35 minutes, half a mountain and aprox 75 billion stairs later I made it to the top!! ONLY TO REALIZE THAT I WAS ABOUT 3 LONG BLOCKS TOO FAR L. I am glad to report that at around 6:55 I made it into the school so relieved and with a significant appetite….only to find out that dinner was OVER!

So now I sit here venting to you all a very hungry, very achy jet lagged girl.

Now that you’re all as exhausted from reading my post as I am from today’s adventures, I’ll drag myself to Building 2 apartment 3 room 4, for some much needed attempt at sleep J

Layla Tov xoxo

Dana

Ps I have enclosed this last picture which doesn’t show much but was my attempt at stealthily documenting the angry toothless man from yesterday who I got in a fight with 

when he wouldn’t sell me a bag.

PPS. I forgot my notebok in my room but I'll do my best (Michal) to have a torah potion tomorrow! 

It Gets Better :)

Shavuah Tov!

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. First, I want to wish a big Mazal Tov to my beautiful friend Emily Danoff who got engaged on Thursday to one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. Also, Michal and Cedric I hope your Kiddush at shul went well….I was in Ramot at the Cowland’s thinking of you guys. Before I move on a quick shout out to this awesome family that hosted me over the weekend and have graciously offered their home as my home. You all teach me new things every time I’m around you and I will do my best to not be so shy and quiet next time I’m at your table b”h. 

Today was officially my first full day of classes.

After a measly 3 hours of sleep (as I am still jet lagged L) I was up at 7 to get ready, daven (sort of), eat, make coffee etc and be at class for 8:30. One necessary thing I have realized in my short experience as a seminary girl is, COFFEE, which at Neve is disgusting no matter how many spoonfuls of sugar and milk you drown it with L

Besides for bad coffee my day began with a tutorial class in the library with a wonderful woman whose name I can’t remember (only cuz I’m so tired). I got the chance to practice my Hebrew Academy Rashi reading skills so thank you to Morahs Mochkin, Elias and Szyf who helped me knock up my Neve confidence by 10 points!

The many exuberant teachers here surprised me - one of which looked anything but when he walked in the room. R’L looked like he would fall over on the spot – skinny like a rake and aged very ripely, he could barely hear any of us and we listened with difficulty ourselves. It turns out R’L is 80 years old and still kicking it big time. He introduced the class as follows (please read this in the most rickety old man voice you could muster): “To begin the class here is today’s weather report – for Americans in the room a high of 80; for those English and Canadians, a high of 32 and low of 22. In the news, I am sad to report that Neal Armstrong has died! Sad…so sad. And now we will learn the Laws of War – BANG BANG DEAD!” Maybe you wont all find this as humorous as I did but this is verbadum what this wonderfully insightful (in his torah knowledge of course) Rabbi had to say. After 4 classes I was super productive and signed up for job placement (paid J) and then also went in search of a workstudy opportunity. Since I got a scholarship to Neve I had to sign a moral obligation which means that I commit that at some point during my lifetime I will pay the school back. I was lucky enough that the woman in charge of placing people gave me a job with her (typing names in excel….wohoooo) so I am proudly on my way to paying off my debt one name at a time (although they’re all pretty much the same so far: Breindy, Rivky, Chana, Chaya Hyndi….)

I guess hashem wanted to show me that after my first day or two there is possibility for a positive experience here by continuing to enhance my day as I ventured into the center of the city to meet Eden Tzoubari (one of my oldest and dearest friends’). However, I wasn’t sure at first if I would make it, as it was aprox 40 degrees outside with 0% oxygen L. After my bus driver decided to pull over on the side of the road to make a phone call (true Israeli style; *note: there is another interesting story about the bus driver that I can share in the future), Eden and I had lunch at Café Café, which is a really tasty dairy restaurant. Unfortunately we had a miserable experience with our food being returned for waitress incompetence, only receiving one beverage and for waiting almost 1.5 hours to eat…thanks to Eden’s Israeli-Yemenite flare we got a 15% discount J (word of the day: Hanacha = discount). Lunch was followed by a frantic expedition in the market (Machane Yehuda) where I frolicked about in my oversized swiss army knapsack and several plastic bags (just trying to paint a picture of just how cool I looked!) of items I was convinced were cheapest there….not so much. After getting into an argument with a toothless Middle Eastern Israeli man who spoke broken Hebrew and refused to sell me a bag, I was severely delayed and in a cool and collected panicked mode I tried to make my way through my errands to get back to school on time. Alas NAY! Not only did I not get all my “to buy” list items – the most important of which means that I will go yet another day without showering (last time was Friday so I’m really not doing so bad; Max try not revel too much in the “that’s so Dananess” of this moment :p) L - but I was so late I had to take a 50 Shekel cab ride back to school. In the end I was on time for two awesome classes by a Venezuelan woman who speaks a mile a minute, has an awesome accent (ladddiiiieeeesss eethh thooo naicee to be herrre!) and so much knowledge it’s astounding. The other teacher was also outstanding who spoke 900 miles a minute too but knew all of our names within the first 5 minutes of class.

All in all I have to say that today was really awesome. Despite the pounds of sweat I released today, the timing issues and angry Israelis, I’m starting to feel pretty settled here. I’ve met a bunch of really nice girls and even ventured into the 4 sheckel store downstairs…that’s $1 for EVERYTHING they have!!! A woman named nechama came to find me because she heard (from someone that reached out to me a while ago) that I was alone here and we bonded over the fact that we are both from Montreal and both went to Hebrew Academy (Shawna she was in your class!) – so that was definitely nice J I am really excited to see how the next 4 classes go and know that I will learn a lot if they were anything like today’s.

Quick Torah portion of the day: We learn about the mitzvah and ways of prayer from a woman in tanach – Chana. She was baren and after being pushed (made to felt bad) by her husband’s other wife Penina and from her own innate pain, Chana cried as she prayed to GD and asked for a child. It is written that she was bitter souled and that she prayed ON hashem. Why would this result in an answer from hashem? It says that Hashem is “V’Karov Hashem L’Nishberei Lev” – “and GD is close to the brokenhearted”. Thus when you are broken hearted the more you recognize that what you have in life doesn’t come from you and your intention is so clear. Chana therefore shows us that 3 criteria that help our prayers get accepted are recognition that we have/do/happen to us comes from Hashem, that we must have kavana (intention) and that we should cry. Take note that prayer doesn’t need to be from a book and that prayer without crying is not less valuable but in this circumstance would be a true expression of the pain one is feeling. (They are about to shut off the Internet for the night so I cant write a whole conclusion but more wise words from Rebetzin Winkler to come)

Thank you all for reading!

Neve: B+

Israel: B/B+ (I need adventures!)

Support: A

Ps the pictures are of my room with my personal touches and of the view from 

one of my night classes

xoxoxo

Dana